Dealing With Being Ghosted

Love I am so sorry you had to experience this. I want you to take a moment and repeat this to yourself, over and over if you must and get it inside of your spirit because unfortunately this feeling will arise again, frequently until it has passed on.

There is nothing wrong with you, you did nothing wrong.

When this first happened to me I was devastated but I actually surprised myself at the strength I was able to see, and feel within myself. Of course, I had a woe is me moment but then, resiliency kicked in.  The fact that even after experiencing something so emotionally traumatic I don’t blame love and I don’t hate men. I still very much believe that there is someone out there designed specifically for me, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It takes strength to bounce back and you are stronger then you think. I don’t want you to wallow in self-pity, or go over your flaws with a fine-tooth comb. The fact of the matter is they just weren’t the one for you. You will honestly never find out the reason why unless they tell you but even then, it won’t be enough so be okay with not getting an answer. As many times as I’ve heard the term “let it go” it is honestly one of the truest and realist things ever spoken oh yeah and it’s pesky side kick “move on” I say this to you because love you are worth way more than the value some man put on you, you are way more important than the tear down you’ve given yourself, and you are way more than the F Men mantra many hurt and broken women scream (not all but enough worth mentioning).

So let’s get back to you. The work has to be done and it’s definitely time to do the work. There is no better time then now, here in your present, where your emotions are raw and open. Yes, I’m about to say it, because it is crucial.

Self-Care

Wash your hair, paint your nails, soak your feet, do a face mask, apply makeup, simply do something that makes you feel good about you. I don’t suggest going and having a professional do these things for you, why because it’s time you did something for yourself. Self-Care is the care of oneself, if someone else is doing it for you, you don’t get the same energy that you would if you do it yourself. I need you to glow and grow within. I need you to boost your confidence and let your inner strength shine. Also, of course you don’t have to do something so etiquette based, you could read a book, watch a movie you’ve been wanting watch, eat a meal you’ve been craving. The point is to have you do something for you, that doesn’t require someone else intervening, right now it’s about stabilizing you.

Once you have the things in mind that you’d like to do, do them again and again until you feel your energy upgrade. You deserve to feel pampered and loved

Say No To Negativity

We have to stop looking at things so negatively. Honestly in life we are blessed with so many beautiful opportunities to see our Creator at work its absolutely amazing.

Every month a woman’s body prepares for reproduction or more eloquently put to bring life into this world. Every month the changes your body goes through to prep for life, is so fascinating. As a woman we complain about the process because of the side effects brought on by these changes. 

“Oh the cramps, ugh the headaches, I’m so tired, my breasts hurt so much.”.  

We complain, complain, and complain some more, but how many of us have stopped and thought, “wow right now God is preparing my body to create life, I have the ability in this moment to nurture and carry a child from start to finish in my womb.” We are so programmed to think negatively about day to day mundane things that we miss out on life and all of its beauty, we miss out on the little things that mean so much, because we are to busy complaining about how it’s making us feel.

Just think of the mother’s that are trying to conceive month to month, on edge, in tune with every change their body makes hoping, praying, and wishing that it’s a sign that their body is starting this process to create life, or soldiering on if already created. Meanwhile we are trying everything to stop our bodies from doing what they are designed to do, bring life into this world.

You see it’s all about our outlook, our mindset. Change your mind you WILL change your life!

So next time before you complain about something that momentarily inconveniencing you think of those that pray for those inconveniences and put things into perspective. Yes, you are allowed to feel, but ask yourself by wallowing in those feelings what are they producing in your life? Positivity or Negativity? 

Hope you all are having a blessed time in this world. I’m glad you stopped by.

Love, Light, and Blessings

-Ashley 

Digital Habits To Let Go Of

Let’s face it we all have some habits.

Habit:  a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

Yes, there is such a thing as a good habit, but let’s be honest often times habits that we have and take on are bad. One of the habits that I have found that extremely stunts personal growth, is our lack of monitoring what we take in with our eyes and ears. Let me explain:

Let's Take social media for example, most of us have some form of social media, quite frankly If you are here and reading this you found my blog one of a couple of ways, YouTube (and if so please subscribe and drop me a comment saying hey! Yes a shameless plug lol), Instagram, Facebook, or possibly Twitter. I say this because I promote my brand on multiple social media platforms.

With that being said having a social media account and accounts that we are active on daily, expose us to a lot of negativity and blockage and doesn’t allow much room for personal development. I actually took notice of this when I began to market my photography business. Yes this mommy wears many different hats. Peculiar Royalty is the lifestyle brand and all of my other businesses fall under the umbrella! Multiple business equals multiple avenues of revenue and success!!!! Hop aboard the train of profit city!!! I want you to succeed!!!

Okay back to the reason for this posting. I have a question to ask you, Why are you following who/what you are following? On these social media sites, we are following friends, family, business, animals, etc. our feeds are swamped with pictures of peoples kids, random peoples faces, food, honestly a plethora of things, and we mindlessly swipe through them liking and screenshotting and whatever else we choose to do with these posts, but I need you to ask yourself especially if you are trying to develop yourself on a personal level. If you are starting a business, what is looking at pics of your besties food she’s eating this morning helping your business? If you are an aspiring makeup artist what is looking at a man in a gym doing for your dream? If you are on the path to financial freedom, what is looking at the latest fashionistas doing to help your bank account grow? Your answer should be because being truthful is

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

SO how do you put down this bad habit? And again all of these things I am about to mention to you can be applied to what you listen to, what you see with your eyes, and even where you place your physical body!

Social media can be an effective tool in personal development but you have to break the bad habits we have with social media. Now you can do this one of two ways, you can literally go through all of the pages you are following and delete all the profiles and pages that are not serving a purpose in your life. Trust me if they are really your friends and family they will understand and if they get mad that you are choosing not to look at little Susie’s daily pic well then you need to break more then a social media habit you may very well need to re-evaluate that relationship!

Another way to do this is to create a separate account for different reasons, such as if your looking to build a business, create a business account and use that account to only follow other pages that will motivate your business! This way you can have a separate personal account to follow friends and family. Doing it this way will require more work but there is a price to pay for your bountiful future. If you really like this idea create multiple accounts for multiple reasons it is entirely up to you. Instagram has a cool feature that allows you to simply switch between any of your accounts at any time without having to sign in multiple times, they literally are all there and you just select which page to open up!

Example: I created a separate Instagram for my Photography business, and even though many friends, and family follow my photography page, I only follow back things that motivate, inspire, and makes sense to follow for my business, that way my feed is entirely about photography and business.

• I follow models, some are local, and some are models I will work with in the future! ( Speak life my loves).
• I follow other photographers. This allows me to see what other photographers are working on to draw inspiration, to connect with other photographers for networking purposes, or simply fan girling over their amazing work but you get the point.
• I follow clothing and accessory brands, because I need pieces for different shoots I setup, it’s a way to network and advertise, and get them to see my work and possibly secure a booking.

So you see my feed is full of things that make sense to look at for my business, not only am I motivated to work hard on my craft, I am also placing myself in a position to be sought out and discovered by others. If my feed Is packed with my friends, family, food and etc. I could be missing out on opportunities, and creative sparkings.

Hopefully this encouraged you to clean up your feeds and refocus on your journey to personal development!!!

Love Light and Blessings

Ashley

Definition of Love Is Found in Your Silence

Be your unapologetic self. We have to stop allowing people to define us, to dictate who we are and what our character is or isn't they have no right to establish a profile of ourselves.

We are enigmas, we are greatness in the making. You have to learn to love you, because that's key and honestly you actually have to learn to love and what love is. I use to think that love was defined by perception, but that just isn't so. Love is one definition and that definition is found when you ask, seek, and knock. Okay yes I am going spiritual with this but don't check out yet, I said spiritual not religious. I promise it will get good, well actually I'm telling you it will get good. Promises are things that can be held over your head, and I refuse to allow someone to do so, because sometimes things are out of our control no matter how much is in our control.

Listen, I was anxiety ridden, depression over run and quite frankly because I was the term hot mess, I can honestly tell you, finding the revelation of love allowed me to love myself and to truly love others. Love is easy for us to define when we make it situational, if we say the love of our children, or the love of our career, or the love of our man or woman, but all of those things are situational and based off of our perception, they are not a solid defined thing.

Are you still following me? I hope so. Do me a favor, sit in silence, and sometimes silence doesn't mean silence, it may mean finding silence in a noisy world. I'm a mother of a 4 year old and silence is rare so if your a mom of multiples, a dog mom, cat mom, other human mom, whatever hat you play that causes your day to day life to basically not allow silence, then you have to create your silence in the noise. I strongly recommend meditation, and the great thing is there are tons of videos for FREE that will guide you through meditation to find your silence, so that you can sit and reflect, ask, seek, knock. I need you to sit in silence, and you'll know when you've reached that defining moment of silence, because in that moment your purpose, your answer will be spoken to you.

Okay, okay to bring it back around to love and its definition. Everything we do is rooted in love, love is our foundation, thus why they say God is love. There is nothing situational about the pure essence of love. Even if we dislike something, or someone, even if we harbor ill feelings, again those are all situational and they can change, so we cannot define love off of feelings, and things that occur, that would render love useless, and it's impossible to render love useless.

Alright, if you think that now i'm going to tell you the definition of what love is, i'm not because if i did so you wouldn't ask, seek, and knock to find the answer for yourselves, and it is so vital that you find the answer for yourself. There is a journey that occurs, and this journey has nothing to do with the definition of love yet it has everything to do with it. This, is where people get caught up in their definition of love, because they base it off of their journey. Yet, their journey is hardly ever complete in this stage. So, with that said I ask you to please find your silence, and seek the definition of love, so that you can become aware and you can understand the harmony that we are meant to live in on this earth.

Love and Light to you all,
God bless
 -Ashley

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Landing After This

It almost would seem as if I took a sabbatical of sorts... in many ways maybe I have but in many ways life just kept rolling...

My Pastor went home to be with the Lord...that hurt...more then words could describe...but even in the pain came the most beautiful peace...joy...and strength...I do not question God...He knows exactly what He is doing...

I've moved so much further into God...into becoming the Child of God that I desire to become... but all to often the road block presents itself...or should I say stumbling block...I'm not quite sure how to feel... I feel a hovering of oppression ever before me... are these my sins? are these satans minions waiting for an opening...although I feel so strong in the Lord I feel so weakened at the same time...

I wont lie I have thought of retreating... it was merely a thought in passing and then the word of God comes to life that I've been shoveling into my body...so I continue to Press

Overwhelmed...Under Paid...and lacking rest...in all honesty I haven't been holding up my end... my reading has slacked as well as my prayers... a fast is a must... 

I have overcome one hurdle and now there are two more...I have to trust God...

Thoughts never published but still holding true to this moment:

I recognize it's time to move... God has been showing me who he is these past couple of days and I feel empowered...The way of the Lord is easy the way of a transgressor is what is hard
but there is strength in his word and he will give you peace on your path...

My life has been such a sepulchre lately but its starting to be revived... I think of things of old and have to bring my thoughts under subjection to the word of God because I sense the devil trying to keep me bound...

I have less worry and more hope... God is definitely a good and healing God...

Before There Was Laughter There Was Pain...

Honestly to be here is...almost a cathartic moment...I started blogging back in 2009 it is now 2016 and I have matured so so so much...this use to be my release from every day life... a way to document my journey into womanhood... now I'm left wondering what exactly this blessing and cursed tool is to be utilized for...I sit here knowing I must start somewhere...knowing I must be unafraid of the things to come...but...ever so hopeful that it will grow and develop into exactly what God has for it to be...I am determined to live a purposeful life... I reflect on the past thinking what if...what if... what if I would have just continued then...knowing that it does not even matter because the past is but yesterday and today is soon to be tomorrow...but I reflect on this as well....

" Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.." Zechariah 4:10

God is a humbler to the haughty and high minded and thus I believe that is possibly what has occured in my life... a life that I now feel able to share with one two three maybe more but a life I am choosing and willing to share with a beautiful people in hopes that you learn that you to can and will be free in Christ...

Welcome to the life that God has chosen to allow me to share with you as I go on this journey of becoming a Child of God...Womanhood... Mother... Friend... and share with me the laughs triumphs...heartaches...mistakes...and victories... I am finally ready....

To Begin Again...